Quotation #100
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have
received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Anonymous
Friday, December 14, 2007
Quotation #99
Quotation #99
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up
in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost (1874-1963)
Quotation #98
Quotation #98
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the
belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
Quotation #97
Quotation #97
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam.
Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking
and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of
understanding of this simple fact.
Terry Pratchett , Moving Pictures
Quotation #96
Quotation #96
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that
corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only
because they cannot actually masturbate.
Dave Barry
Quotation #95
Quotation #95
Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do
the work.
John G. Pollard
Quotation #94
Quotation #94
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government
and business.
Tom Robbins
Quotation #93
Quotation #93
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's
supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert Benchley
Quotation #92
Quotation #92
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the
writer.
Dean Acheson
Quotation #91
Quotation #91
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do
nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen (1894-1956)
Quotation #90
Quotation #90
Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Quotation #89
Quotation #89
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue
without humility.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911
Quotation #88
Quotation #88
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to
find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
Nelson Mandela - A Long Walk to Freedom
Quotation #87
Quotation #87
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to
find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
Nelson Mandela - A Long Walk to Freedom
Quotation #86
Quotation #86
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It
works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his
nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about
that person.
P. J. O'Rourke
Quotation #85
Quotation #85
There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the
hope of presenting another to the world.
Antonio Machado
Quotation #84
Quotation #84
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by
those who have not got it.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Quotation #83
Quotation #83
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
and the pessimist fears this is true.
James Branch Cabell - The Silver Stallion
Quotation #82
Quotation #82
The individual's ability to perceive a problem is inversely proportional
to his responsibility for the fix.
Defensive deafness doctrine
Quotation #81
Quotation #81
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the
morning feeling just plain terrible.
Jean Kerr
Quotation #80
Quotation #80
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked
down by the traffic from both sides.
Margaret Thatcher
Quotation #79
Quotation #79
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever
comes to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke rising
from the chimney and continue on their way.
Vincent Van Gogh
Quotation #78
Quotation #78
Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell
us something about the custom of shaving.
Tom Robbins - Skinny Legs and All
Quotation #77
Quotation #77
My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft
music.
Vladimir Nabokov
Quotation #76
Quotation #76
My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then
I realized that I had no character.
Charles Barkley , on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the
Charles Barkley of figure skating", 1994
Quotation #74
Quotation #74
Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Quotation #73
Quotation #73
Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting
sweeter.
N. D. Stice
Quotation #72
Quotation #72
Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is
more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints
of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
Ralph Marston
Quotation #71
Quotation #71
Less and grayer hair.
Cal Ripkin, Jr. , baseball player, describing how he has changed over
the course of his consecutive games record
Quotation #69
Quotation #69
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you
are not.
Andre Gide
Quotation #68
Quotation #68
In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the
vibrations of beauty.
Christopher Morley
Quotation #66
Quotation #66
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so
uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.
Schopenhauer
Quotation #64
Quotation #64
If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
Beau Brummel
Quotation #63
Quotation #63
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Quotation #62
Quotation #62
Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the
problem.
John Galsworthy
Quotation #61
Quotation #61
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating
a dead horse.
Woody Allen (1935- )
Quotation #60
Quotation #60
I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a
tie. You have to be different.
Tony Bennett , 1995
Quotation #58
Quotation #59
I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the
day.
Vincent Van Gogh
Quotation #57
Quotation #57
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it
every six months.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Quotation #56
Quotation #56
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat,
arrange yourself in slim poses.
John Weitz , American Designer
Quotation #55
Quotation #55
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
Quotation #54
Quotation #54
Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that
nothing is.
Thomas Szasz
Quotation #53
Quotation #53
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Karl Wallenda
Quotation #52
Quotation #52
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart
that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Quotation #50
Quotation #50
A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
Quotation #49
Quotation #49
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be
one.
Kin Hubbard
Quotation #48
Quotation #48
A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the
world of objective perception and thought.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Quotation #47
Quotation #47
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the
subject.
Winston Churchill, Sir (1874-1965)
Quotation #46
Quotation #46
A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're
dead.
Leo Rosten
Quotation #45
Quotation #45
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) - Epigrams
Quotation #44
Quotation #44
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however,
has never learned how to walk forward.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Quotation #43
Quotation #43
A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be
done for the first time.
Frank Vanderlip
Quotation #42
Quotation #42
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in
anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
Robert Heinlein
Quotation #41
Quotation #41
A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
Quotation #40
Quotation #40
What the American public doesn't know is exactly what makes them
the American public.
Dan Akroyd , actor, in Tommy Boy
Quotation #39
Quotation #39
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays
out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
Quotation #38
Quotation #38
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel
libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
Quotation #37
Quotation #37
This American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it capitalism,
call it what you will, gives each and every one of us a great
opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
Al Capone (1899-1947)
Quotation #36
Quotation #36
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
Rita Mae Brown
Quotation #35
Quotation #35
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in
office.
Will Rogers (1879-1935)
Quotation #34
Quotation #34
The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid
moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the
possibility that there may be something to them -which- we are
missing.
Gamal Abdel Nasser
Quotation #33
Quotation #33
The constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a
damn fool of himself.
John Ciardi
Quotation #32
Quotation #32
The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have
developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest
misery without almost noticing them.
Gunnar Myrdal
Quotation #31
Quotation #31
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would
say that it had merely been detected.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Quotation #30
Quotation #30
Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-
education from happening. [...] The average American (should be)
content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted to
think about any other role.
William Torrey Harris , U.S. Commissioner of Education, 1889
Quotation #29
Quotation #29
One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc
was Noah's wife....
Robert Boynton
Quotation #28
Quotation #28
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American
public.
Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
Quotation #27
Quotation #27
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no
distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Quotation #26
Quotation #26
It [New York City] is a great monument to the power of money and
greed... a race for rent
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
Quotation #25
Quotation #25
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
Quotation #24
Quotation #24
I'm talking to you by telephone from the Oval Room at the White House.
For every American, this has to be the proudest day of our lives...
Apollo 11
Quotation #23
Quotation #23
I'm running for president of the United States because I believe that -
with strong leadership - America's days will always lie ahead of us.
Just as they lie ahead of us now.
Bob Dole Republican candidate campaigning in Michigan
Quotation #22
Quotation #22
I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I
could be just as proud for half the money.
Arthur Godfrey
Quotation #21
Quotation #21
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never
voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
Gore Vidal
Quotation #20
Quotation #20
Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society:
violence punctuated by committee meetings.
George F. Will , journalist, political commentator, 1994
Quotation #19
Quotation #19
Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully
aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its
appearance and delay its putrefaction.
John Cage
Quotation #18
Quotation #18
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people
in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben
Quotation #17
Quotation #17
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
Europe.
Jackie Mason
Quotation #16
Quotation #16
And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
ask what you can do for your country.
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)
Quotation #15
Quotation #15
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone
directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual
intervention of civilization.
George Clemenceau
Quotation #14
Quotation #14
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence
without civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Quotation #13
Quotation #13
America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for
one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.
Anonymous
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Quotation #12
Quotation #12
2,400,000 Americans play the accordion - hopefully not at the same
time.
Inside of a Pepsi cap
Quotation #10
Quotation #10
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or
predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
William Faulkner
Quotation #9
Quotation #9
Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most
agreeable.
Francis Bacon
Quotation #8
Quotation #8
Beware of small expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
Quotation #7
Quotation #7
Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position
falls, your ego goes with it.
Colin Powell
Quotation #6
Quotation #6
Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Quotation #5
Quotation #5
Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Quotation #4
Quotation #4
Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but
paddle like the devil underneath.
Jacob Braude
Quotation #2
Quotation #2
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
Sidney Goff
Quotation #1
Quotation #1
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with
mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to
justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.
Bruce Friedman
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